Lami’s story: How gender equality made a family happier and more prosperous

“I asked [that we] support each other, but he refused. He didn’t care about his family, so I decided to get a divorce because we couldn’t find happiness together.”

This is what Gaze had to say about her marriage to husband Lami, 29, before his timely participation in World Vision’s MenCare program in Boke Woreda, Ethiopia.

Part of the RESILIENT-WE (Reducing Environmental Shocks, Improving Livelihoods and Inspiring Empowered, Innovative and Thriving Women of Ethiopia) project, MenCare focuses on promoting gender equality and sharing of unpaid care work at the household level.

It recognizes that communities have to work together—women, girls, men and boys—to reach the goal of gender equality. In this way, overall economic resiliency is strengthened and development outcomes are improved.

Gaze was already shouldering a disproportionate amount of her family’s needs, including raising their daughter. She was running a small restaurant in addition to taking care of the household. She asked Lami to help around the home so that she could focus more attention on the business that was supporting the family. Her request fell on deaf ears.

Lami admits he preferred to hang out with friends and enjoy himself. He says he never did any housework, which led to frequent arguments with Gaze.

This dynamic changed after he began attending RESILIENT-WE’s MenCare training. By promoting positive involvement in the lives of their partners and children, harmful attitudes about gender roles can change. Lami was transformed in exactly this way.

Arguments gave way to peaceful dialogue and a recognition by Lami of the value of sharing household responsibilities.

“We are working together without claiming ownership of the work,” says Lami. “I started assisting my wife with meal preparation, water fetching, childcare, and other household chores.

“I am aware that my wife’s sharing of the load is a source of love and happiness for the family, and that success in all spheres of life is correlated with these two things.

"I observed this in our small business. The MenCare session was really beneficial to me. We are currently collaborating on our little restaurant business' future development.”