Writer Karen Stiller shares how her family makes every Christmas better than the last, by adopting new and fulfilling holiday traditions.
Every year we ask ourselves the same question: How can we do Christmas better? For our family that means, how can we do less but celebrate more?
Christmas has typically been the Season of Exhaustion. We tear from event to event, host this, that, and the other thing, and ending up tired, a bit resentful and just plain relieved when it’s finally all over. Sound familiar?
There’s good news: with intentionality, clear communication and yes, a bit of an iron will, Christmas can become more like the meaningful holiday we yearn for it to be. Here are a few suggestions.
1. Have That Meeting
Gather together your family, including your children if they are old enough, but most definitely your spouse, and lay it all out on the table, or actually, the chopping block. List off all the activities, traditions, outings and obligations that you typically face each holiday.
Now, ask some tough questions. Is this activity worth the time it takes us away from our home and family? Do we really need to glue glitter onto pinecones each and every year? Does it add in to our joy or just subtract from our energy? Can we live without going to another wine and cheese party in the neighbourhood?
Finally, chop away at your holiday to-do-list until it feels more manageable and fulfilling.
2. Focus on Traditions That Give
The traditions that our children are most reluctant to give up actually seem to involve giving.
When our family joins our church at the local senior’s centre for caroling on those freezing cold nights, something good is happening inside them. The one year we didn’t participate, the kids talked about it and missed it. The Open House we host for family and friends on a Sunday afternoon is a highlight of the year for our children. They love “hosting.”
On the other hand, our tradition of making and decorating a gingerbread house from scratch (often putting the finishing touches on Christmas Eve, the busiest day of the year) has actually taken on an oppressive, sometimes weepy, “must-do” dimension. We need to let that one go.
The traditions that we have tried to keep are the ones that involve the age-old “it’s better to give than receive,” because, of course, when you give you do receive. And that is especially true of children.
3. Think Outside Your House
Once you’ve been ruthless with the old list of “must-dos” consider a “want-to-do-because-it-feels-so-good-list.” This might include having a dinner party in which you invite people who don’t get out much.
It might be carving out an hour to write a letter and send a small treat to your sponsored child, friends living abroad or nieces and nephews. This is a perfect time of year to write—full of fodder for topics—like what winter is like in Canada, how to make the perfect snowman and what your family does on Christmas Eve.
When we dare to question the tyranny of Christmas Tradition, we are loving our family in a very practical way. By opening up space in our schedule, by lowering our standards for how much we have to accomplish and how magical it all needs to be, we open the door to being real, to being accessible and to actually enjoying the holiday season in a new way. Now, that is a great tradition to create!
Still Christmas shopping for that sibling who has everything? Check out these tips for giving alternative gifts.
Give a meaningful gift this Christmas, from the World Vision Gift Catalogue.
